Just A Normal Day At Busch Gardens
by DraculasVirgo
Summary: What happens when all the Seishi go to Busch Gardens? Thats what you're gonna find out!
1. Default Chapter

Just a Normal Day at Busch Gardens  
  
This fan fiction features: All of the Suzaku seven, all of the Seiryu seven, a couple of my friends, and one very crazy authoress. *some special guests will be stopping by*  
  
Disclaimer, I don't own any of the characters. Its all thanks to the luverly Wu Watase.  
  
Also, I'm trying to please everybody.and that includes myself so don't go haywire if I happen to insult on of your favorite characters. Remember everyone fiction is as fiction does!  
  
And the day began.  
  
Colette: Ciao! I am your authoress for the day or your narrator, since I'm extremely bored and slightly crazy tonight I decided to entertain everyone in a sweet little innocent fan fiction. Ahem, anyways I hope you enjoy it.  
  
Nuriko: Colette dear?  
  
Colette: What.I was talking.  
  
Nuriko: Can we please get on with things, everyone is in the van and ready to go!! Plus I brought my karaoke machine!!  
  
Colette: *tries to run away* Oh! Hell no! I'm not spending twenty minutes in a van with you wailing at the top of your lungs over a microphone!  
  
Nuriko: *grabs Colette and throws her in the car* Pftt.I never get my way and I'm the authoress.  
  
Tasuki: Hi Colette!  
  
Colette: *blushes* //whisper// I love Tasuki, he's just the best guy.*sighs*  
  
Chichiri: Can we get the hell out of here, ya know?  
  
Lydia: I don't care just as long as I'm with you.*drools*  
  
Chichiri: *laughs nervously*  
  
Chiriko: I don't feel good today so I'm gonna stay here with Mitsukake.bye! *waves at leaving van* Everyone: *sighs of relief*  
  
Mean while the Seiryu seven were on they're way out.  
  
Nakago: I can't wait to ride on the kumba.it should be fun.  
  
Suboshi: I wonder if they have any two seat rides *looks over at Yui*  
  
Yui: Back off *scoots away*  
  
Tomo: Hello Nakago, sit by me.*puts arm around Nakago*  
  
Nakago: *shoots life force blast* get the fuck away!!  
  
Amiboshi: Please.peace!  
  
Suboshi: Brother.we are so different!  
  
Amiboshi: We are but we get along soo well!  
  
Suboshi: Yep!  
  
Yui, Tomo, Nakago: Must be some sort of twin thing.  
  
Sesshomaru: Tell me again.why I decided to come with you?  
  
Nakago: Are you questioning me?  
  
Sesshomaru: What if I am?  
  
Nakago: DIE! *shoots life force blast*  
  
Yui: Shut up everyone! Can we please get the fuck out of here?  
  
Okay so they are crazy.about twenty minutes later the whole crew arrives at Busch Gardens.  
  
Colette: We had already paid our tickets and the two groups of people just glared at each other, except for me cause.I'm sensible.  
  
Amiboshi: Hi Miaka!  
  
Miaka: Hi! *trips* Help me Tamahome  
  
Tamahome: MIAKA!! I WILL SAVE YOU!!!  
  
Kathleen: Do they have to over react like that?  
  
Nuriko: You bet.  
  
Lydia: Hey Chichiri lets go off on our own.*huggles Chichiri*  
  
Chichiri: Um.well.I don't think.  
  
Tasuki: Oahhh! What is that roller coaster.?  
  
Colette: Gwazi there are two parts lion and tiger.  
  
Suzaku Seven: LION!  
  
Seiryu Seven: TIGER!  
  
Colette: The entire group rushed off to Gwazi, the seating was, me next to Tasuki in the front, Nuriko and Hotohori behind us Chichiri and Lydia behind them, Tamahome and guess who. Kathleen was behind them sitting with..OMG..OLIVER WOOD.*contains self*  
  
The Seiryu were sitting, Nakago and Tomo, Yui and Suboshi, Amiboshi and Sesshomaru, and Draco with Kim [Golden].*contains self*  
  
Tasuki: This is gonna be fun!  
  
Chichiri: I'm scared, ya know!  
  
Nuriko: My hair is gonna get messed up  
  
Nakago: Why do I have to sit with the cackling queer!  
  
Tomo: Lets not talk about who is queer.  
  
Miaka: Tamahome  
  
Tamahome: Miaka  
  
Yui: SHUT THE FUCK UP!  
  
Hotohori: Miaka I love you and have always loved you and-  
  
Everyone: SHUT THE FUCK UP!  
  
Lydia: *huggles Chichiri* If I fall out will you save me?  
  
Chichiri: Lets not talk about falling out.ya know.  
  
Kathleen: //whispering// how about one of those huts?  
  
Oliver: //whispering// as soon as this ride is over..  
  
Colette: Its starting! WHOO!! The coaster whooshed down and then started its climb.  
  
Chichiri: I shouldn't have done this, I shouldn't have done this..  
  
Nuriko: My hair.*cries*  
  
Miaka: Tamahome.that villain Sesshomaru is looking at me!  
  
Tamahome: DIE!  
  
Colette: PLEASE no killing on the roller coaster!!  
  
Sesshomaru: Why would I be interested in a lowly pathetic human!?  
  
Colette: No one could reply because the ride took off.  
  
Chichiri: OH SUZAKU SAVE ME!!!  
  
Tomo: My feather things!  
  
Nakago: Whatever.  
  
Colette: The ride was over too soon, and only Chichiri, Nuriko, and Tomo disliked it. Miaka almost died like four times in the time span of the ride so. probably we'll get kicked out.  
  
Tasuki: Whats next?!  
  
Draco: Kim.where is Harry I want to kill him.  
  
Harry: I'm right here you yellow-bellied coward.  
  
Colette: STOP FUCKING AROUND ASSHOLES! Tasuki: Do you know that boy?  
  
Colette: In my own special way.hehehehe  
  
Nakago: Kumba!  
  
Tomo: The carousel!  
  
Chichiri: Nah, that spins too fast ya know.  
  
Colette: Okay how about a water ride?  
  
Everyone: AGREED!  
  
Kathleen: //whisper to chicks only// take off your bras.lets toy with the men.  
  
Girls: We have to use the bathroom.  
  
Colette: In some magical way we were all able to sit in the raft thing on Congo river rapids, probably because Kim and Draco disappeared along with Tama and Miaka.oh well.All the girls were bra-less and ready for the cold water to kick in.hehehehe.  
  
Tasuki: This looks like fun.  
  
Chichiri: I don't like water, ya know.  
  
Lydia: Whys that?  
  
Chichiri: My lov- I mean.my best friend drowned in water..  
  
Tasuki: //whisper// what else can you drown in?  
  
Colette: The ride started out fine, except when we plunged and were all pulled off somewhere.  
  
Chichiri: HIKO!! Stop it!!  
  
Hiko: Biach.I cannot believe you biach!  
  
Chiciri: What?  
  
Lydia: Back off you horny gay man!  
  
  
  
Hiko: That hoe of yours better not be talking to me biach, *flops hand and snaps fingers*  
  
Chichiri: She isn't a hoe and I'm not your biach.//whispers// well not anymore!  
  
Lydia: What do you mean not anymore?  
  
Chichiri: Long story you don't want to know.  
  
Colette: This is so fucking annoying.  
  
Nuriko: My hair is getting all wet!  
  
Nakago: Hiko? Why don't we just kill him?  
  
Tomo: He's kind of hot.  
  
Hiko: Back off Biach!  
  
Chichiri: Besides he's already dead!  
  
Amiboshi: Why can't you just resolve your differences.  
  
Hiko: Its not that easy you stupid asshole, he freakin' killed me!  
  
Kathleen: Could you please just get over it? I want to get wet, 'cause I'm wearing a white shirt so I can harass the guys, that aren't gay.//like Tomo//! So just SHUT THE FUCK UP ALL OF YOU!!!  
  
Hiko: *meep*  
  
Chichiri: She's right ya know.just go away.  
  
Hiko: But I loved you...*falls away into somewhere else*  
  
Colette: In an instant we were back in the make believe Tiki Village.  
  
Lydia: *pissed off* I can't believe you liked a guy!  
  
Chichiri: We all have our faults.  
  
Lydia: He was your best friend.. Chichiri: They make the best lovers, ya know  
  
Everyone: WE DIDN'T WANT TO KNOW THAT!!!  
  
Tasuki: I'm gonna be sick.  
  
Hotohori: I'm so sexy! So sexy! So sexy!  
  
Sesshomaru: I smell the foul stench of a Hanyou.  
  
Inuyasha: Now is that anyway to greet your brother?!  
  
Sesshomaru: I could just kill you..  
  
Inuyasha: I'm the one with the teisaiga, not you.  
  
Sesshomaru: You haven't even mastered it yet!  
  
Inuyasha: Oh hell yes I did! I beat daddy's mortal enemy!  
  
Sesshomaru: You wha-?  
  
Inuyasha: Yep! Now you die!  
  
Amiboshi: Why can't you love each other like me and Suboshi do?  
  
Inuyasha and Sesshomaru: 'cause we aren't into incest or twincest either.  
  
Suboshi: What are you saying?  
  
Inuyasha: Ohh nothing.hehehehe.*looks over at Colette*  
  
Tasuki: //whispers under breath// who does he think he's looking at?  
  
Inuyasha: *mouth drops open* wow.  
  
Colette: I'm the authoress, and Inuyasha is not supposed to fall in love with me damn it!  
  
Kathleen: This ride is boring!  
  
Chichiri: Yeah, not nearly as scary as that other one ya know!  
  
Colette: It gets better just you waaaaaaaaiiiiiittttttt! * plummet down the long slide thing and everyone gets drenched *  
  
Nuriko: Damn it I'm all wet!  
  
Nakago: Do you think you're the only one?  
  
Nuriko: Don't mess with me fag boy!  
  
Nakago: Ohh look his talking Mr. Manly Man!  
  
Nuriko: I'm gonna kill you!  
  
Tasuki: Man, they always fight.  
  
Colette: Hey Tasuki.  
  
Tasuki: What...* gets pushed into water by Colette * Man I HATE GIRLS they are cheaters and they don't play fair.  
  
Colette: Aw, Tasuki.I thought you didn't know how to swim!  
  
Tasuki: * meep * Bitch.gurgle gurgle  
  
Inuyasha: Pathetic, I'll get him.  
  
Colette: Hey puppy boy, lay off okay?  
  
Inuyasha: Puppy boy? Who the hell do you think you're talking to?  
  
Colette: * walks to Inuyasha and caresses his chin * Inuyasha, SIT!  
  
Inuyasha: * falls through wood bridge * I thought only Kagome could do that!  
  
Colette: I am the goddamn authoress so don't question my authority!!!  
  
Tasuki: Am I just gonna die?  
  
Nuriko: It looks so doesn't it!  
  
Kathleen: C'mon lets go to Kumba.  
  
Everyone: * looks up at Kumba *  
  
Tasuki: I'll just drown then!  
  
Colette: You do that!  
  
Tasuki: * pulls himself out of the water slightly pissed off *  
  
Colette: Towering over us was eight loops of green off the chain coaster action, we couldn't wait to get on.the only problem was seating. There was four people to a row, and we had.Kathleen, Lydia and Me in the front, Tasuki, Hotohori, Chichiri, and Nuriko, then in the very back was Nakago, Tomo, Suboshi, and Amiboshi, Inuyasha was sitting next to me in the front and Sesshomaru had disappeared.  
  
Nuriko: Hotohori.your highness.hehehe  
  
Hotohori: Some one help me.  
  
Nakago: Start the damn thing already!!  
  
Tomo: I'm scared Nakago * huggles Nakago *  
  
Nakago: Get the fuck away! You know I only dig Tama-baby.sexy, sexy, sexy! He's a nice piece of firm ass!  
  
Everyone: THANK YOU FOR THE INFORMATION!!!  
  
Inuyasha: This is so stupid.  
  
Colette: Si-  
  
Inuyasha: Did I tell you how much I just love this ride?  
  
Chichiri: I'm scared ya know  
  
Lydia: I want to sit with Chichiri!  
  
Kathleen: I wonder where Oliver went?  
  
Suboshi: Wow you have a great view from up here.  
  
Amiboshi: Yeah you really do!  
  
Colette: They act like such a gay couple!  
  
Nakago: I'm really happy Soi isn't here! She's so crazy!  
  
Colette: Chichiri screamed the entire way through the roller coaster, and Inuyasha sat smugly next to me.I think Tomo pissed his pants.  
  
Tomo: I'm just gonna go to the bathroom  
  
Chichiri: I'm just gonna die now, ya know  
  
Lydia: No Chichiri! You can't give up! You mustn't give up!  
  
Chichiri: I can't hold on.  
  
Lydia: I'll never let go Chichiri I'll never let go.  
  
Kathleen: Stop being such stupid assholes.  
  
Lydia and Chichiri: Sorry, we got taken by the moment.  
  
Kathleen: * rolls eyes *  
  
Oliver: I found a cabin * raises eyebrows *  
  
Kathleen: Alrighty. * they walk to the cabin and start passionately kissing *  
  
Oliver: Can I make you mine?  
  
Kathleen: Make me whatever you want.* he ran his hand down her.  
  
STATIC SCRATCH SCHTCHTTT SCRAT STATIC sorry ladies and gentlemen we'll have to cancel this broadcast due to technical difficulties, please stand by.  
  
Colette: Well, we just lost another couple.  
  
Caitlin: Whore?  
  
Colette: Slut?  
  
Caitlin: Strumpet?  
  
Colette: Streetwalker?  
  
Caitlin: OMG!!!  
  
Colette: Dude!  
  
Ron: Hi I'm Ron Weasley.  
  
Colette: Wha-.Caitlin?! * Shocked *  
  
Caitlin: * blushes * what?  
  
Colette: I don't even have control over my own fan fiction!! * cries *  
  
Tasuki: Get over it!  
  
Colette: * pushes Tasuki in water *  
  
Tasuki: HELP ME!  
  
Colette: Get over it.  
  
Inuyasha: You are such a bitch * shocked *  
  
Colette: Get over it and SIT!  
  
Inuyasha: * falls through the walk way * Ow.  
  
Nakago: This is so annoying.  
  
Nuriko: You're face is annoying!  
  
Tamahome: MIAKA!  
  
Miaka: HELP ME TAMAHOME!  
  
Caitlin: They are so annoying!  
  
Ron: Here I'll deal with it * points wand at Miaka * Stuptify!  
  
Caitlin: Good job!  
  
Tamahome: You killed her! You did! BASTARD!!!  
  
Ron: * meep * HELP!  
  
Colette: Tamahome dear? * pushes Tamahome into Tiger exhibit * Hehehehehehe, tiger food! Hotohori: I'm too sexy for my shoe, too sexy for my shoe, too sexy yeah! I'm too sexy for my box, too sexy for my box, too sexy yeah!!  
  
Lydia: God save us all.  
  
Chichiri: This is crazy, ya know!  
  
Lydia: You drive me crazy!  
  
Chichiri: And I just can't sleep!  
  
Colette: STOP!! That's it! I'm gonna take five! I can't handle this! * takes off *  
  
Naraku: Where is Inuyasha?  
  
Sesshomaru and Inuyasha: NARAKU?  
  
Naraku: Nah, the Easter bunny, assholes!  
  
Colette: What the fuck are you doing in MY fan fiction?  
  
Tasuki: If you hurt Colette, I'll kick your ass.  
  
Colette: How could he hurt me I'm the authoress!!??  
  
Naraku: * hits Colette *  
  
Colette: You bastard!!!  
  
Tasuki: REKKA SHIEN!!  
  
Naraku: OWIE!!  
  
Colette: We'll be right back folks!! 


	2. Mysterious Play Afoot

Tasuki: What do you mean you'll be right back?  
  
Colette: Well it has been a couple of days since I continued to write this...  
  
Hotohori: I'm too sexy for my imperial clothes, too sexy for my imperial clothes, too sexy yeah.  
  
Yui: I think I'm going to lash out and kill someone...  
  
Miaka: Just like you wanted to kill me Yui  
  
Yui: //whispers// wanted? I still want to...  
  
Miaka: What Yui?  
  
Yui: * puts on fake smile * nothing Miaka  
  
Tomo: Its so hot, my make up is running...  
  
Kathleen: You do look a lot...better...without that silly make up  
  
Tamahome: Yeah it looks really stupid  
  
Colette: What a loser  
  
Tasuki: Hehehe, we should throw him into the tiger exhibit! Hey wait a second! How did you get out of the tiger exhibit Tamahome?  
  
Tamahome: * whistles * Ohh, nothing...tiger is really good!  
  
Colette: You didn't! You didn't eat the...the...tigers?!  
  
Tamahome: They were really yummy..  
  
Colette: Oh Godd!  
  
Kathleen: We are definitely gonna get kicked out!  
  
Lydia: But I haven't even bedded Chichiri yet!  
  
Chichiri: What, ya know?!  
  
Lydia: Ohhh, nothing * laughs inwardly *  
  
Suboshi: Brother I..  
  
Amiboshi: What...what is it brother...  
  
Suboshi: I...  
  
Inuyasha: You're brothers thats disgusting! DISGUSTING!  
  
Sesshomaru: Well Inuyasha did I ever tell you I..  
  
Inuyasha: * screams and runs away *  
  
Colette: * holds gun up to head *  
  
Tasuki: Hey Tamahome-boy what were you doing with Miaka huh?  
  
Tamahome: None of your business...  
  
Tasuki: C'mon don't be shy...you can tell me...did you bang her?  
  
Tamahome: DIE!!!  
  
Nakago: Did someone say die? DIE!  
  
Tomo: Well its all gone...  
  
Everyone: * shocked *  
  
Kathleen: Damn he's fine...  
  
Chichiri: Good looking, ya know!  
  
Lydia: What?!  
  
Chichiri: Nothing...  
  
Colette: Woah...like did I say its hot out here?!  
  
Tasuki: Well duh, its in the middle of winter...  
  
Colette: Tasuki then it would be cold...  
  
Tasuki: But we're in Tampa...  
  
Colette: Fine you win...geez!  
  
Caitlin: So Ron lets go find Draco..  
  
Ron: Why??  
  
Caitlin: Um, I dunno so we can kill him or maybe hurt him really bad?  
  
Ron: Okay!  
  
Harry: This is boring can we please go on a ride or maybe go in the snake house?  
  
Ron: So you can show off your parlsetoungue?!  
  
Harry: What? Whats your fucking problem?  
  
Ron: Well you always find a chance to show off? Don't you!  
  
Harry: Go screw a tree and leave me the hell alone.  
  
Ron: No, but I'll go Caitlin...  
  
Caitlin: I'm sorry, I'm not your tree...so you can go screw whatever.  
  
Ron: Bitch...  
  
Caitlin: What?  
  
Rupert: Did you just call this bright young lady a bitch? I'm gonna kick your ass Ron!  
  
Ron: But you're me!  
  
Rupert: Yeah but Caitlin likes me more!  
  
Caitlin: You can say that again!  
  
Colette: Some one kill me now  
  
Nakago and Naraku: No problem  
  
Colette: FUCK OFF, * Nakago and Naraku dissapear *  
  
Lydia: Can we PLEASE get out of here!  
  
Chichiri: Yeah, ya know!  
  
Kathleen: GO FUCK YOUR MOM!  
  
Chichiri: She's not here!  
  
Colette: Ohh, I'm gonna throw up!  
  
CarpetFibers: You know in my review I mentioned Plato...  
  
Colette: SHUT UP  
  
CarpetFibers: But Chichiri here makes me think of Sophocles' "Oedipus Rex"...  
  
Sesshomaru: I completely agree *tries to smile, fails, starts to cry*  
  
Carpet: Uh...I don't like women...I don't float that way.  
  
Colette: Oh God. This is my fanfiction. How come I'm not on the computer any more?  
  
Carpet: Cause its mine *pulls out Tetsaiga*  
  
Colette: What the hell? How'd you get that?  
  
Inuyasha: What the hell? *turns to Colette* How'd she get my Tetsaiga?  
  
Key from Metal Idol appears: Key want sword. Key want it bad.  
  
Everyone: *pounces on Key, leaves behind bloodied blob and some spare wires*  
  
Tamahome: Can we please go on another ride, people.  
  
Colette: I was planning for us to go on another ride except for the fact that my fan fic had to be taken over by my sister...  
  
Sesshomaru: Do not insult her, her views on Sophocles' is very-  
  
Colette: I will kill you! Inuyasha sic him!  
  
Inuyasha: C'mon and make me!  
  
Colette: SIT  
  
Inuyasha: Bitchh  
  
Miaka: Lets go on the pheonix!  
  
Kathleen: Be careful you might fall out...  
  
Tamahome: Then I would save her!  
  
Colette: We are leaving...  
  
Nuriko: I need a woman  
  
Kelsey: I need a man  
  
Nuriko: *looks over at Kelsey*  
  
Kelsey: *looks over at Nuriko  
  
Love is a many splended thing.....  
  
Colette: I'm going to lash out and kill someone  
  
Everyone except Miaka: PLEASE LET IT BE MIAKA!!!  
  
Colette: Okay  
  
Standing in front of us was the pirate ship know as the pheonix. It rocks back and forth slowly bringing you closer and closer to being unpside down eventually you are upside down...  
  
Chichiri: This looks scary ya know  
  
Carpetfibers: I'm gonna be going now, *jumps out of fanfiction*  
  
Colette: Thank God...  
  
Inuyasha: What do you see in that Tasuki guy anyways?  
  
Colette: *looks over at Tasuki trying to kill Tamahome* His charm and charisma his importance as a Fushigi Yuugi character his over all hotness, the way his hair is kind of like a mullet but not really, he's just so...whats the word...unbelievebly off the chain, over the limit, sexy...  
  
Inuyasha: Grrr...  
  
on the left top hand side of the pirate ship was, Me, Tasuki, Inuyasha, Lydia, Chichiri, Nuriko, Kelsey, Hotohori, Tamahome, Miaka, Caitlin, and Rupert. Oh yeah Kathleen and Oliver...sorry...hehehe  
  
On the right top hand side was Tomo, Nakago, Sesshomaru, Naraku, Kim, Suboshi, Amiboshi, and Draco I don't think I'm missing anyone, if I am...oh well for them..hahahaha..  
  
Chichiri: Oh God I'm scared!!!  
  
Colette: Chill out  
  
Lydia: This is gonna be fun!  
  
Kathleen: I hope my shirt doesn't accidently fly up, wouldn't that be horrible Oliver?  
  
Oliver: A real shame..*dazed*  
  
Colette: I wish they would start the goddamn ride.  
  
Tasuki: I know! Whats the hold up, hey isn't that your sister?  
  
Colette: SHIT! NO! THIS IS MY FUCKING FANFICTION!!!  
  
Carpet: Hello everyone, oh and sister dear, its my fucking computer!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Sesshomaru: Hello Carpet..  
  
Carpet: //whispers// why is that woman always after me?  
  
Inuyasha: That woman, is my brother...  
  
Carpet: Thats just not right!  
  
Colette: Jesus can't even save us...  
  
The ride started, and too bad that carpet wasn't buckled in...hahahahaha, fall bitch fall!  
  
Sesshomaru: I will be able to save her with my sword, just let her fall...  
  
Carpet: BASTARDDDDD!!!  
  
Colette: HAHAHA bitch!  
  
Miaka: Tamahome help me! I'm falling!  
  
Tamahome: MIAKA I WILL SAVE YOU!! DON'T DIE MIAKA!  
  
Everyone: FALL BITCH FALL!  
  
Tamahome: NO MIAKA!  
  
Colette: Will you shut the fuck up, you're making a scene and above all things she's not falling asshole..  
  
Tamahome: Ohhh, hehehehe  
  
Inuyasha: Is this supposed to be fun?  
  
Colette: It will be now, SIT!  
  
Inuyasha: *falls through ride* biiiiiiitttttcccchhhhhh  
  
Kathleen: OH NO my shirt flew up...  
  
All guys except for Tomo, and Chichiri: *LOOK*  
  
Kathleen: Horny bastards  
  
Colette: *smacks Tasuki*  
  
Tasuki: What was that for?  
  
Colette: For being a horny bastard!...I'm gonna post this chapter now, and be back with more Busch Garden's action!! 


	3. Carpet's Caper not the salad kind

Chapter 3

A little fun at Busch Gardens… Carpet style

Carpet's intro:

            Ahem…I just wanted to let Virgo's readers be aware that I have taken over this chapter. It'll be a brief interlude into the sophisticated world of intellectual humor. No more cheap sexual jokes pointed at girls with wet t-shirts, or girls with tight t-shirts, or girls with no t-shirts at all. Instead, I will dedicate this entire chapter to the high minded audience that has long awaited my arrival.

            But to show my equanimity, I shall allow my darling brain devoid sister a chance to regain her fanfic. *Waits patiently for five whole seconds. Colette tries desperately to escape her cage. No such luck.*

Inuyasha: Wench…that was cheating!

Carpet: Somersault!

Inuyasha: *somersaults* What the fuck?

Sesshomaru: *tries once again to grin, fails again, begins to cry again*

Carpet: Tamahome! Front and center!

Tamahome: *lets go of Miaka briefly* Yes my royal benevolent ruler… Hey you can't make me talk like that!

Carpet: *points at crying Sesshy* I can do whatever the hell I want. *Grins, everyone cringes, except Miaka who's about to fall into a giant never ending hole that leads into hell.*

Miaka: Pretty hole! Oops... *falls into pit to hell. No one notices.*

Tamahome: Miaka! I'll save you- *notices hole goes to hell* Fuck no, I'm stupid but not that stupid. I'll get me another woman. *sees crying Sesshy* Hey you, be my woman!

Sesshomaru: *stops crying* This Sesshomaru will breathe on you. *lets out poison breath*

 Author's Note: This fanfic is now in the void of Carpet's mind. Wherever they are and whatever happens is entirely made up. No holes to hell were hurt or disturbed in the making of this fanfic. However, for those many Miaka lovers, I do plan on killing her in every way possible. If creativity calls, I shall answer. If the world of all great writers comes knocking, I shall open. If-

Inuyasha: Flip!

Carpet: *flips* Hey! That's so not allowed. Colette's in the cage; I'm the only writer here!

Inuyasha: But I'm a bishy…I get privileges. Here's my contract. *holds out crummy piece of paper. Carpet eats it. Inuyasha curses, and then falls in love.*

Inuyasha: You ate my paper.

Nakago: How amusing. Miaka is in hell. Tamahome's trying to get Sesshomaru to be his woman. But Sesshy is a man. Tama must have realized that he is in fact a homo. How amusing. I shall lick his face now. *grabs Tamahome. Licks his face. Everyone cringes, except Chichiri.*

Chichiri: I tried that once, you know. It didn't go over very well. *tears off mask* My eye was accidentally cut by Hiko's tongue ring, you know.

Miaka: *pops out of hole to hell* Hey Chichiri, was that before or after you killed him?

Tamahome: *pushes Miaka back to hell. Looks at Nakago, looks at hole to hell, shrugs. Dives in after Miaka.*

Nuriko: That was fun. Kelsey that trick of yours with your tongue. It gave me goosebumps. *giggles*

Kelsey: What can I say? When you've done it as often as I have, you get experienced.

Nuriko: But how you made those twists and turns…its amazing. Hey why don't you show everyone here?

Sesshy: My virgin eyes!

Tasuki: Hell yeah baby.

Harry: Die Voldemorte! *notices Voldemorte is no longer there* Fuck, was I stolen again?

Hermione: Harry!

Harry: *pushes Hermione into hole to hell, shrugs* She got annoying.

Kelsey: See? *sticks out tongue*

Sesshy: *hides behind Inuyasha*

Inuyasha: *scratches ear* Hey isn't my old dead girlfriend from hell?

Carpet: Cherry stems! I tried making a bow with them once, but all I managed was a knot.

Nuriko: *nods* She tried teaching me all afternoon, but I've no talent.

Everyone else: *sweatdrops*

A/N: If you've noticed a shortage on time given to other characters that would be because I don't much care for them. In fact, I think I'll kill the all off. Except Oliver Wood cause he has an accent and wears kilts and crap.

Carpet: *Grabs Tetsaiga again*

Inuyasha: You ate my paper and stole my sword. I love you.

Carpet: *cuts off Lydia's leg* Oops…I kind of meant to kill everyone else with that.

Colette: *escapes cage, grabs Lydia's leg, and makes a jump for the hole to hell*

Carpet: Fuck! How am I supposed to explain this to Tasuki?

Tasuki: Wha?

Chichiri: *tears off mask, tears off another mask, blushes* I'm secretly a woman. *replaces masks*

Carpet: I kind of cut off Lyida's leg and Colette escaped and took it to hell with her.

Tasuki: Oh, ok. Where's that bonfire you promised me?

Lydia: My leg!

Chichiri: It went to hell, you know.

Lydia: I can't believe you're a woman!

Chichiri: Its ok, cause I'm also bi.

Lydia: *pulls out little bag with another leg. Puts it on.* Ok, I'm good with that. Whaddaya say about those bushes over there?

Chichiri: Ok.

Carpet: *sweatdrops* Well, that went well. *Makes a bonfire* 

Tasuki: Pretty fire! 

Harry: *Sits down next to Kelsey* Hey can you teach me how to do the cherry thing?

Kelsey: *smiles and yanks out whip and leather belts* Only if I can tie you up.

Harry: Ok.

Tasuki: Ooooh, its red!

Sesshomaru: Carpet, Plato also once said that love is but a fleeting emotion, but in its brevity lasts the making of all eternity.

Carpet: Plato was full of crap.

Inuyasha: You ate my paper, stole Tetsaiga, and said Plato was full of crap. I love you. *pauses a moment, ponders on spoken words* Bitch.

Hotohori: Sesshomaru, can I have your tail? I think it would compliment my eyes. 

Nakago: I hate tails. Life force! *Tries to burn up Sesshy's tail. Up jumps Fluffy fanatic*

Fluffy fanatic: I shall save you, my fluffy! *stand in front of life force blast. Incinerates.*

Sesshomaru: Disgusting human.

Nakago: How amusing.

Hotohori: Nakago, can I have your ear rings? I think they would compliment my ear lobes. I do love sexy ear lobes. New verse!

Nuriko: *grabs mic from Hotohori* I'm too sexy for my ear lobes! Too sexy for my ear lobes! Too sexy yeah! Baby! *sits down with blank expression*

Tasuki: Hey Nuriko, I thought you were dead.

Nakago: Life force!

Tasuki: *waits for Tasuki fanatic to save him. Crickets. Gets blasted.* What was that for?

Nakago: I don't know. Carpet's read all these fanfics where we're a couple, so she made me.

Tasuki: What a dominatrix.

Inuyasha: My paper, my sword, Plato, and a dominatrix. Fuck my dead clay girlfriend from hell, I'm going for you Carpet!

Carpet: Split!

Inuyasha: Fuck! My balls!

Carpet: *grins, everyone cringes again.*

Miskake: Shalom group.

Carpet: What the fuck. I thought you were left back at the fictitious house?

Miskake: I was, but I have seen the light and realized my transgressions. That is why I am here on behalf of the church of the lighted individuals. I have foregone my sexuality and manliness in favor of the everlasting continuum.

Nuriko: Can I kill him?

Hotohori: No! He dared insinuate that my sexiness wasn't light enough. I will kill him!

Key: *picks herself up from bloodied blob* Key will kill.

Carpet: Sic him Key.

Miskake: *sweatdrops, pees in pants, shats himself in pants, starts to smell really bad* But the everlasting continuum!

Key: *eats Miskake*

Everyone: That was so gross. *pushes Key into hole to hell*

Out jumps the devil.

Devil: Ok, that's it. Not only have you put Miaka down here, but also Tamahome. And now you expect me to deal with a human eating robot? What the fuck!

Carpet: Listen Satan, I'm the writer here. What I say goes. So if I want you to have to deal with Miaka for all eternity, you will.

Devil: But what did I do to deserve that? Its not fair!

Carpet: Tough titties.

Devil: Yummy.

Fluffy fanatic 2: Die! *tries to kill Satan. Fails. Tries again. Fails. Tries again. Fails.* Hey what am I doing this for? 

Carpet: Cause I said so.

Kikyo: Hey all. Word up!

Everyone: What the fuck!

Devil: This is called payback.

Everyone: What the fuck!

Devil: This is called payback.

Everyone: What the fuck!

Devil: This is called payback.

Kikyo: Yo, dawg. I said Word up.

Carpet: Ok, ok, ok. I get it. Fine, we'll take back Key, if you'll take back the hood wannabe Kikyo.

Kikyo: Dawg, let's burn together. Word.

Inuyasha: *pales, turns into a full youkai, growls* Growl.

Miaka: I love you guys! *Accidentally trips Kikyo*

Kikyo: *falls and breaks into a million pieces*

Miaka: Oopsie.

Inuayasha: *Eats Miaka*

Everyone: Ew.

Sesshomaru: As I was saying earlier, Carpet. Plato believes that in the end the basic conduit between two souls is that brief thing called love. Naturally that's my own interpretation, but in his Theory of Forms..

Carpet: Key! Eat fluffy.

Key: *Tries to eat Fluffy. Out jumps Fluffy fanatic 2*

Fluffy fanatic 2: *gets eaten.*

Naraku: Ko ko ko ko…you broke Kikyo! I shall smite you! *tries to smite Miaka, but Miaka smiles and everyone almost dies. Therapy session time.*

Psychologist: Tell me, Inuyasha, when did you first start dreaming about your brother dressed up as a pig?

Carpet: On second thought, let's save that idea for another time.

Harry: That was fun, Kelsey.

Kelsey: *puts away whip.* Yeah.

Tasuki: Oooh, look at how the fire burns my hand! Pretty!

Harry: Die Voldemorte!

Nakago: Life force!

Everyone: *doubletake*

Harry: You're voldemorte!

Nakago: How amusing. You've discovered my secret. Watase's manga wasn't enough. I need to take over the world. Don't misunderstand me. Growing up as a pretty boy wasn't easy. The other boys laughed at me and called me a girlie man. My own mother tried to braid my hair. When one is laughed at all his life, its only natural to want to kill everyone.

Harry: *wipes away tear* I forgive you. Will you be my father?

Nakago: Life force!

Carpet: Ahem…no more killing until I say so.

Cricket. A clock ticking. Dinner time. Inuyasha tries eating Nuriko. Nuriko throws him into the hell hole. Satan throws him out. Chichiri cuts off Lydia's other leg for fun. Lydia tries stabing herself. Misses. Everyone laughs.

Carpet: Ok, you can kill now.

Inuyasha: I love you.

Carpet: Go screw a squirrel.

Chichiri: That's gross, you know.

Tasuki: How'd do you like my new hair style?

Carpet: *sweat drops* Colette's gonna kill me.

Tasuki: *pats bald head* I kinda burnt off all my hair.

Colette: I'm gonna kill you. *Brandishes Lydia's leg. Tries to attack Carpet. Sesshomaru saves her.*

Carpet: *tinny music in background* You saved me!

Sesshomaru: I wasn't finished about Plato.

Carpet: Sic him Key!

Key: *pulls out semi automatic. Shoots Fluffy.*

Everyone: *laughs*

Colette: Fuck. Carpet, you can't kill everyone off.

Carpet: Yes I can. *Makes a giant black hole. *

Everyone: *gets sucked up*

Carpet: Ha! Told you.

Colette: Freak. You got sucked up to.

Carpet. Oops.

Next episode: Will Carpet ever escape the presence of her companions? Will Fluffy finally explain his insane need for Plato? Will Tamahome finally save Miaka? Will Miaka finally die? Will Inuyasha die from eating Miaka? Will we care? All this and more will be answered on the next episode of…….CARPET'S CAPERS! (not the salad kind)

Miskake: The everlasting continuum! I have found you at last! *picks up tiny shiny ball. Notices button that says do not push.* Pretty button. *pushes it. Everything blows up. Armageddon occurs. All is lost.*

The End.


End file.
